Left Behind

[nelvannya]

Effect of Suicide on Others - UK
George Stewart
Effect of Suicide on Others - UK
The impact on those who witness a suicide can be serious and long-lasting. In 1987 over 300 people died on British Rail tracks, and between 1984 and 1988, deaths on London Underground increased by nearly 50 per cent.

[59] Drivers who have witnessed suicides have reported a range of subsequent problems including insomnia, sexual difficulties, recurrent nightmares, and heightened stress and anxiety. The impact of suicide on this group of witnesses has been officially recognised, and train drivers are eligible to claim compensation under the Criminal Injuries Compensation Scheme.

The term ?survivors? has been applied to those friends and family who have been affected by suicide. While survivors of suicide have certain things in common with other bereaved people, some aspects of their bereavement are unique.

Like all those bereaved, they are faced with a major loss, and with having to face the fact that the loss is permanent. Anger and guilt are common bereavement reactions, but are often more intense and long-lasting among survivors of suicide.

Alison Wertheimer writes of the experiences of people bereaved by suicide in ?A Special Scar? [60] : ?Survivors who either witness the person committing suicide or, more commonly, find the body, are left to come to terms with a shattering experience. Memories of the scene are likely to remain with the survivor for many years to come, and may never disappear completely. Even when a person has not actually discovered the body, being told about the circumstances of the suicide can leave the survivor with horrific images of the scene of the death, making it hard for them to think about anything else at first. Where the victim died in a violent manner such as jumping in front of a train, this reaction is likely to be intensified.?

Trying to understand why someone has committed suicide can preoccupy survivors for months and even years after the event.

Many people faced with bereavement can rely on support from a variety of people including family, friends and colleagues. However, those faced with bereavement due to suicide may find that they have less social support available to them because: ?suicide is not a socially acceptable way to die under any circumstances.?

Without socially acceptable reasons for the death, how can the loss be socially acceptable?

The survivors have no available rationale to ease acceptance, their friends have no socially acceptable words of comfort, no special rituals or ceremonies can be invoked to mobilise support and no tradition helps filter the remembrance. Bereavement from suicide, like the suicide itself, is without social acceptance, without institutional patterns.? [61]

There are certain common features of bereavement which have been developed into a model of the path of bereavement:

1. Numbness: this reaction often closely follows the death of a loved one, particularly if the death was sudden or unexpected. A sense of distance and being removed from one?s feelings of grief may be present. It has been suggested that this numbing may be the body?s mechanism for protecting itself from being overwhelmed by the shock of the loss.

2. Denial: here a bereaved individual may have significant difficulty accepting the reality of their loss. In severe forms, this may be expressed as a complete denial of the death, or in less severe forms the bereaved individual may have lapses in thinking and behave as though the person had not really died.

3. Anger: in this phase the bereaved person may feel a general anger with the world, fate or God, or a more specific anger towards people in their lives. Behaviour such as trying to bargain with God for the return of the dead person may be part of this phase.

4. Depression: as acknowledgement of the loss grows, sadness and depression may become more present, and there may be a growing awareness of the reality of the situation.

5. Acceptance: the bereaved person comes to terms with the loss, and is able to move on and accept the new life that lies ahead for them. This stage is typifed by the absence of extreme emotions which may have been present earlier in the process.

Suicide bereavement has certain features which may prolong the process of grieving. Survivors may get stuck in an endless and fruitless search for a definite answer as to why the suicide occurred; or they may believe that they were somehow responsible for the death and may punish themselves by continuing to grieve.

It is important for people to be able to release the emotions of grief. Being able to weep and to express anger and other intense emotions is part of the healing process. If a person gets stuck in a particular stage of the grieving process they may require some support or assistance to move forward. This could be provided by supportive friends or family, but sometimes there may be a need for some form of professional help.


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