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I'm Not Alone
I self-harmed for approximately two years before I learned that I was not the only one. I stumbled upon that information quite accidentally when a good friend informed me that she was suffering from severe anorexia. I was browsing the internet looking for information on what I could do to help my friend when I came across a depression site, which had a link that caught my eye, labeled self-injury. I stumbled across that link almost a year ago, and that one link has changed my life. I learned that I am not infact alone in this world. I thought my cutting was something disgusting that I did, and that I was the only person who could do such a thing. After learning that what I did to myself in the privacy of my own home was the topic of many public communities on the web, of people who did the same things as me. Since then, I have discovered that an estimated 1% of the world population partakes in what is technically termed self-inflicted violence or SIV. Specialists in this area yes! There are people who specialize in what I do suggest that this number is grossly underestimated, because so many people never come forward. An estimated 8% of adolescents, or children over the age of 11, are estimated to use some for of SIV. That number is precisely that an estimate, I have seen statistics for that ranging from 3% all the way through 11%. I guess the point of sharing all of those statistics is for you to realize that if you self-injure, you are not alone. In the united states, there are about 288 million people. One percent of that is 2.8 million people. Chances are good that whether or not you self-injure, you know someone who does.
Everyone who self-harms does so a little bit differently, varying in what they do, whether it be cutting, burning, or a multitude of other things. I feel a certain way when I cut myself, but no two people self harm in exactly the same way or for exactly the same feelings. People vary in severity of what they do, but I find that to be unimportant. How badly I hurt myself on the outside has very little to do with how poorly I am feeling emotionally. The important thing is that I do hurt myself, and for the time being I do it because I need it. If you are a self-harmer, it is important to remember not to be ashamed of what you do. Maybe you want to stop, and maybe you will, but you did not choose this for yourself. It isnt your fault that you never learned how to deal with your emotions differently, but I hope that someday you will be able to learn other ways of coping, and I hope that I will too.
Since I first learned that I was not alone in what I do, I have learned many ways that I personally can make the choice not to self-injure. I would list them all, but they are different for everyone. I wish I could tell you that after all of what I have learned about SIV and all of the things I have now to do instead that I have stopped, but I cant. I have been seeing a therapist who has helped me immensely, but sometimes I still make the choice to hurt myself. I am proud to say that now it is a choice for me. I am proud that I can say to those I trust I am a recovering self-harmer. Sometimes I still hate myself for what I do, and for not being able to stop, but I have recognized that it is an addiction, and that it works. As I learn more things that work as well instead, I revert to those more and more. I have learned that talking about my feelings is the first step to overcoming my desires, and I have learned to let go of what I have done in the past, because it is the only way that I can have a better future. I have discovered that I have nothing to be ashamed of, and that on most days I like who I am. But most importantly, I have found, that no matter what I do, I am never alone.
TheLaurus
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All the things we used to think were happiness, in the end were only pleasures.
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Pls help me.
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