seems like i always mess up

PILLZ-E · 10-18-2008, 04:14 PM

idk what it is, i just have the luck of messing up at the worst possible times and even if its something minor and seemingly insignificant its blown up completely which makes the situation worse.
so Im home to see my girl this weekend and she has work today, before work i normally stop by for a couple hours. of course the one day she has work later in the day i end up fall back asleep for an hour after she calls me to wake me up. when i got up i ran to go get read cause i knew i was going to get it keep in mind i only thought i had slept for 15 min. but still i knew i was gonna get shit for this. i drive over and wait for her to get back from filling her car up and she wants me to leave.
now im the sort of guy that things that leaving in that kind of situation is bad, idk why i just dont leave i always think i can talk to her and calm down the situation, which is normally the case, but this morning i guess it just got her more angry.
now i know shes mad but sending me home isnt going to solve the problem right? instead of just having an hour less shes making it so we dont even having the morning together. i never see the logic in that why purposely make things worse when just by shrugging off the initial lateness as my mistake and getting over with the fact that its in the past and cant be changed.
so of corse both of us being our stuborn selves, i dont leave and she continues getting made and starts walking off and i follow her, mean while shes insulting me and not thinking i just push her which i really regret doing now, idk why i did it i just happened so were arguing and she's tring to get into her car which i wont let her do cause i didnt want her to go and she gets her friend to come and pick her up.
we argue for a bit more and she insults our relationship and me a bunch more until her friend pulls up and she runs and hops in.

why the hell do i always find myself in this kind of situation. like im trying to fix things but she wont have anything to do with it. its frustraighting. fighting just makes me want to go back to cutting myself. fuck i wanna just start throwing shit. was debating whether to plow my car into something on my way back as i was driving around like fucking screw everything cause that would be way better then not having her around idk what i would do with out her. idk what to do.

thinking about getting flowers later and surprising her by putting them on her car during work that way she'll find them when she goes to her car.

today was going to be such a fun day too fuckin hell it went down the shitter so fucking quickly.

CyberPhoenix Kay? · 10-18-2008, 11:05 PM

Hmm, it might not have been so bad if you hadn't have pushed her...i know you probably regret it now, but that is a BIG thing, and in many cases is classified as assult or abuse...

but yeah, i can agree with you that she is over reacting, but women are like that, they are 10 times as emotional as us... they see small things as big things... we can't understand it, so don't even try, you've just gotta accept it...

I can understand you wanting to stay though, you didn't want to put the day to waste, and you know that if you left that would've been it and the day would've gone to waste...so i can definetly understand your logic there..

As to what you can do....The flower idea seems like a good idea, but yeah, you basically just need to find a really good way of apologising...

Good luck.

OzzieJess · 10-19-2008, 01:23 AM

How did it turn out??? is she talking to you? I hope so..

Are you ok now?

PILLZ-E · 10-19-2008, 05:35 AM

yeah i have to work on my anger big time. I've never shoved her before and I hope to God I never will again, I crossed a line I told myself I wouldn't cross :\
but a few hours apart, cooler heads prevailed and
everything turned out well in the end :3
met her at the park earlier this evening and then and gave her flowers and a stuffed chicken that i stole from the hayride in town :x
then we went on the hayride and went to look at Halloween costumes and carved pumpkins.
It was fun
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CyberPhoenix Kay? · 10-19-2008, 07:45 AM

Glad things all turned out for the best!
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PILLZ-E · 10-19-2008, 10:21 PM

you and me both

rez · 10-22-2008, 12:56 AM

Hey Pillz,
I' so glad you have said you are going to work on your anger. Based on your orginal post it seems the conflict should have got a messy as it did, but her overreaction (which you cannot control) and anger issues on you part added to the situation.
I understand how she would have gotten mad about the pushing thing (I might be a little emotional thou, because the breaking point of my relationship with my father occured the very instant he angrily shoved my sister) adn I think its very mature of you to look back at the situation, see the wrong in your actions and choose to actively try and change that behaviour (unlike my father who is 'deny deny deny').
I am very happy it has worked out for the best and that you had a lovely day.