forsaken

Markme · 05-23-2008, 02:32 AM

Well how fucking brilliant is this...
i travel 100km home to my mums house for what i thought was going to be a quiet weekend and a time to just think...

eehhhh hell no, i get home and find a letter about how disgusting i am for wanting to do body building and all these horrible words she thinks of me and then she asks me to come outside and tells me that i cant stay here any more because i argue with hugh(boyfriend) and that he deserves more respect..

well from my point of view she can choose that fuckwit over me, i am dead, gone and she cant get me back.

if some one wants respect, they have to treat you with the same respect they want

fuck people are shit, i fucking hate them

CyberPhoenix Kay? · 05-23-2008, 07:42 AM

yeah, i have heard you talk about that cock alot, sounds like a royal dickhead...

As for your mum, she should ACCEPT what you want to do not tell you how disgusting you are...If i told mum my life goal was to do anything she would accept it even if she didn't like it , and she would support me...

Not a nice time for you atm mark is it :(

*hugs*

Markme · 05-26-2008, 12:32 AM

so i slept in a park for a few days... starved myself and had a real shit time..
for every inche hugh tries to push me back im gonna knock him down and drag him 10 miles.

im slowly caring less and less about my well being and where im at..
if he wants to destroy my life, im going to take his.

stigma · 05-26-2008, 05:02 AM

I can't believe your mother would choose a bf over you, thats just not right in any way. There's no reason why she should value him over you.

Have you ever told your mom how you actually feel about everything?

CyberPhoenix Kay? · 05-26-2008, 06:43 AM

Oh i beleive he has, many a times...

Some parents just don't get it...

Mark is a very strong person though, he will get through it and move on
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stigma · 05-26-2008, 08:17 AM

He does always seem to prevail! :-D

Markme · 05-26-2008, 09:22 AM

soo i went to the funeral today.. it was very upsetting for me..
losing the last person that would have given two shits about me over any one else.
i got to see my grandpa on my own before the ceremony..
i said two words the second i touched his cold forehead and i cant remember what they were, but after that i couldnt say a word, i couldnt breath...
that little bit inside of me died.

you know whats stupid.. i was at my grandpas funeral and i was trying not to cry so i wouldnt look like an idiot. i truely am a egotistical dickhead.

it was weird i had never been to a funeral before this... they were taking photos and they had food.
It was only a handfull of people though max of 15, all the rest of his family didnt care enough to come.

I miss him so much, when i carried his coffin to the grave.. it was just like.. a feeling of emptiness, there was nothing there any more. no hope, no love, no fear... only an empty numb feeling.

and when everyone was eating food and sharing memories... my mums fuckwit boyfriend decides he going to try make amends with me now....
he came up to talk to me and i was like, "dont talk to me, i dont want to hear what you have to say" he proceeded to talk and i said"look fuck off i dont want to fucking talk to you"
he ignored me and i finished it with " look how about i punch you in the fucking face?"

people are fuckwits, my mum auto assumed that everything between me and her were all good.. errr get fucked nothing is good, i hate her.

fuck people piss me off.
no matter what any one says.. right now i am so alone, so empty... i feel dead.