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Poetry If this is your kinda thing then you can share your work here.

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Old 08-08-2008, 02:53 AM   #1 (permalink)
Nearly At The Next Title
 
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just a love poem....

broken from the beginning, ruined from the start
forever torn to pieces, always falling apart
stuck in disallusion, torn from which to trust
whether this is true love or whether this is lust
depressed when you're gone, happy when you're near
losing your friendship is the biggest thing i fear
bending under pressure, breaking from the strain
can you love me even though i am insane?
i wake up in the morning, fantom kisses on my lips
yearning for your weight to press against my hips
i am burning for your passion, hot from this desire
when i look at you my face is lit up like a pyre
i want you in the morning, i want you late at night
i want you inside me, make me squeel with delight
with tender loving kisses and sweet nothings in my ear
i just want you baby, i just want you near
i strumble through the day waiting all this time
to get home and see if i was on your mind
my smile comes to surface, grinning stupidly
thinking of all the things you could do to me
you talk to me so sweetly, treating me so well
and i've been acting so strange ever since i fell
i love you so easily, hurting so bad
sitting here crying for what we may never have
inside i am dying to know just how you feel
trying so hard to keep my mind on what is real
we live so far apart, so many fucking miles
such a long distance between our broken smiles
i'm a hopeless romantic, a silly woman indeed
thinking that you'll ever be in love with me
i start to spiral down, to hate myself again
worried that you don't even want to be my friend
i never say a word, i never let it out
that you're the man i love without a doubt
the tears they fall so silent with such misery
i cry upon my pillow wanting you here with me
the yearning is so painfull, i feel so lost inside
and you have no idea of the thoughts within my mind
broken from the beginning, ruined from the start
forever torn to pieces, always falling apart
stuck in disallusion, torn from which to trust
whether this is true love or whether this is lust
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"heres to all the soldiers who have ever died in vain, the insane locked up in themselves the homeless down on main. To those who stand on empty shores and spin against the wind, and to those who wait forever, for ships that won't come in"

"Ti amo, Jeg elsker deg, Je vous aime, Ik hou van jou, Amo-o, Miluji tě, Я люблю Вас, Le amo, Volim Te, Σε αγαπώ"
Ten ways to say: I LOVE YOU!


Pillz-e, Foamy and Johnny the Homicidal Maniac.... Gotta love em

Last edited by Sick Sanity; 08-11-2008 at 10:21 PM.
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Old 08-11-2008, 05:32 AM   #2 (permalink)
rez
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Wow - so emotive an passionate. I commend you!
Its got this great lyrical rhythm which breaks in certain parts - so perfect and suited to the topic.
I love the narrative structure - it has a beginnin, middle and end.
Great use of repetition.
A+

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Old 08-11-2008, 10:22 PM   #3 (permalink)
Nearly At The Next Title
 
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thank you. lol... means a lot to me when ppl like something i've written...
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"heres to all the soldiers who have ever died in vain, the insane locked up in themselves the homeless down on main. To those who stand on empty shores and spin against the wind, and to those who wait forever, for ships that won't come in"

"Ti amo, Jeg elsker deg, Je vous aime, Ik hou van jou, Amo-o, Miluji tě, Я люблю Вас, Le amo, Volim Te, Σε αγαπώ"
Ten ways to say: I LOVE YOU!


Pillz-e, Foamy and Johnny the Homicidal Maniac.... Gotta love em
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Old 08-15-2008, 07:46 AM   #4 (permalink)
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thats a really cool poem, i like how you spoke your mind in it.
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Old 08-26-2008, 12:59 AM   #5 (permalink)
Jessamine
 
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Quote:
broken from the beginning, ruined from the start
forever torn to pieces, always falling apart
stuck in disallusion, torn from which to trust
I love this... it is amazing... The beginning is my fave part... but i love the whole thing
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"Suddenly, this is all too hard. I'm tired of putting up walls. I want someone with the strength and the honesty to knock them down."
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