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Poetry If this is your kinda thing then you can share your work here.

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Old 07-09-2008, 03:42 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Exclamation Warning: attempted Free form poetry

i don't know if it makes ne sense or if it is even ne good.... hope u like it

sleeping multitude i can't understand
weary eyes shy from the light
a pale and numb creature hiding
twisted words and crumpled thoughts
blood trails falling to the sand

a bruised and tired heart
sifting through disallusion and fear
darkness swimming forever above
pain driving to the bone
lost in the corridors of my mind

a wandering friendless foe
pictures wasted to memory
fading shades of somber happiness
a trickling river of hate
carving anger into skin walls

twisted and crumpled, tired soul
blackened shadows; clinging, swarming
tormented thoughts uninvited
courage hanging by the blade
a child of the darkness
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"heres to all the soldiers who have ever died in vain, the insane locked up in themselves the homeless down on main. To those who stand on empty shores and spin against the wind, and to those who wait forever, for ships that won't come in"

"Ti amo, Jeg elsker deg, Je vous aime, Ik hou van jou, Amo-o, Miluji tě, Я люблю Вас, Le amo, Volim Te, Σε αγαπώ"
Ten ways to say: I LOVE YOU!


Pillz-e, Foamy and Johnny the Homicidal Maniac.... Gotta love em
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Old 07-09-2008, 03:48 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I dig. I can see some form of meaning in it, but whats important is the aesthetics, which you've nailed.
Remember, you can smear as much shit as you want on a canvas but unless you can make it smell like roses no ones gonna hang it on a wall. The flow and the seemingly unimportant images conjured by combinations of innocent words are what really matters, and thats what you've nailed here.
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Old 07-09-2008, 03:51 AM   #3 (permalink)
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thank you.... thank you...
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"heres to all the soldiers who have ever died in vain, the insane locked up in themselves the homeless down on main. To those who stand on empty shores and spin against the wind, and to those who wait forever, for ships that won't come in"

"Ti amo, Jeg elsker deg, Je vous aime, Ik hou van jou, Amo-o, Miluji tě, Я люблю Вас, Le amo, Volim Te, Σε αγαπώ"
Ten ways to say: I LOVE YOU!


Pillz-e, Foamy and Johnny the Homicidal Maniac.... Gotta love em
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Old 07-09-2008, 12:44 PM   #4 (permalink)
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score, u did it! See it isn't that hard.
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