A Poetry Booklet (of sorts)

[My Dreams killed me]

Well, I relized that I had a bunch of my old "emo" poems just lying around here and I decided that hey, let's just post them....so I did. Um the first one that will pop up is the first one I wrote, and then from there they are in no paticular order, some of the stuff I have is being left out for suckage purposes, If you notice, some of this was during a period that I was going through a very very rough time in a relationship. Some were after we broke up. Some were when we got back together, and then I stopped after I recived a..."crushing blow", but I've taken up the art agian recently, so here for you viewing pleasure is A Poetry Booklet (Of sorts) (Sorry for making the intro so dam long, but I feel a background story tends to make these a little more understandable)

1.Judge Tenderly Of Me"
Judge tenderly of me
As you can plainly see
Today I lost my war
And now I'm crushed

Judge tenderly of me
It's not so hard to be
So outspoken or out beaten
But never hushed

Judge tenderly of me
A man with lack of glee
So sad and filled with void
But never rushed

Judge tenderly of me
A boy who never flee's
Still with childhood dreams
That were never much


These next three are acually connected, though I didn't relize that till much later

2.The Question
I only loved once
Eternal pain came forth
Did I just care to much
Or...Was it just her touch

Depression once insnared
for now I am at peace
I hope it will last
and not dissolve so fast

I slowly feel like standing up
Taking a chance
Following my soul
but is that my true goal?

Or is it just go by and by
and remember the good times
I wish just to be whole
does that mean going against my soul?

3.My Sickness
I knew it would come back in time
But why, oh why, so soon
Is it the one in front of me
Or is it the one inside of me

I found the claws agian
Digging in my heart
A lost voice
The one that wants pain

I feel it
Slowly
Everything fades to black
and I'm left with nothing but darkness

I can't even look
Is it simply fear
or is it regret

4.

Feels like it's getting so dam old
The pain that feels it's something untold
I want to make it known
The Pain that goes untold

Feels my heart's turing to stone
from the pain that goes untold
forms a crevice in my soul
the pain that waits unknown

Something bitter
nothing sweet
A pain that waits on hold
Attacks you when your low
The pan that goes untold

These next two are also related


6.Insomnia
The night so deep
I want to sleep
My minds awake
my body aches

The room so dark
Lack of heart
Feel so dead
In my bed

4 PM
still not tired then
wishing for
a nice loud snore

but I can't sleep
and not even sheep
will help me find
a rested mind

7.Dreams of Nothing
When I dream...I feel dead
Lack of existance
No heart
No soul
Just Black and dark
When I dream I fall apart

I feels like being wiped away
those 8 hours tween night and day
Dreams in light are full of delight
Dreams at night are not so right

I'd love to have a simple dream
To live with passion yet unseen
But no...I'm stuck here in the dark
Alone in my dreams without a heart.



That will be all for now, because this is gettin, quite long, I'll post more later.

[Broken_mind]

i love them all. u have a major talent hun. x

[My Dreams killed me]

thank u so much Im just glad u enjoyed them

[Broken_mind]

i love "judge tenderly of me" its so touching and there is just sumthin bout it that makes me :( but
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at same time x

[My Dreams killed me]

yeah, that was my very first poem, along time ago in the annuls of Creative Writing Class lol. I acually took the last line of a Dickenson poem, and that's kinda what spilled out.

[Flaming_Rat]

I get the same feeling out of these poems that I do out of a lot of that Album Oriented Rock with two minute 30 second songs all the time. It just doesn't seem like enough time to really express what you're trying to say. With the quick pace you're going at, it doesnt really leave much breathing room. You also seem to have a fondness for a particular format (a few lines of a similar rhyme scheme and then a last line which connects back to the previous stanza)
You said this stuff was mostly old, so if you're still writing you've probably definitely improved, but I'd say try to pay attention to what you're doing. Go back and check to make sure you're not running the same formats into the mud, expand and experiment.
Of course then again, album oriented rock seems to please quite a few people, and pop artists are an equally important factor in the scheme of the art world. In the long run, my criticism matters very little so just do what pleases you I suppose.

[My Dreams killed me]

your critisim is well placed, and in my personal judgement, of high regard. I've read a few of your poems, and they are quite fantastic, and it seems that you've been doing it alot longer than I have, so you can expect me to take the critsism to heart for future purposes