My family is driving me down to depression

[Broken_mind]

My dad has always emotionally abused me in the past but lately it wasnt really happening. but in the past fue days he has started picking fights with me n callin me names like bitch n sayin im stroppy n a cow and selfish etc n its really gettin me down.

My brother is also gettin me down but its not his fault. he has always been really academic gettin top marks in everything and he has just come top of his class at uni n is gettin a medal for it.

my parents there for put so much pressure on me sayin if he can do it then i can aswell and then moan when i dont.

i have nobody to turn to anymore cos when ever i talk 2 my bf he jsut moans how he has it so much worse than me for example tonight.

my txt said

"Great. im a stroppy bitch tonight! Plus my brother just got dux of 1 o his uni courses even more for me to live up to. i'm proud of him tho"

he replied with

"Ur driving urself into the ground baby. Fuk my brother earns more than me and he has a lotus elise and he has a liscence (he just got his taken off him ... see another thread) How do you think it makes me feel? its not the grades you have, its the respect you gain in later life. Its a lesson u learn later in life, but i feel ur gettin too depressed for ur own gd n its not healthy"

its always about him. he doesnt know how to comfort at all!

[wrlit_sists]

i'm just on my way out vicki, but i'll talk to you about this later

text me if you read this before i speak to you

xxx

[Almost-Insane]

firstly dont worry abt ur brother i know its rele annoyin havin a brother who seems all succesful, be proud of him for his achievements i think with a brother like tht in the family ppl would expect a lot from u aswell but thts nothing, just live the way u want to and aim for ur own desires not someone elses.

abt ur parents well im not sure abt tht one, parents can be stressful i spose u just need to put up with them if they dont listen.

ur bf well he seems a tad selfish but perhaps hes playing for sympathy aswell or tryin to make u feel as tho u dont hav it so bad which is wrong. have u tried speakin to him abt it?
tell him to stop worryin abt what his brother does and to make things better for himself if hes tht bothered.

[Broken_mind]

Originally Posted by out-of-heart
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tell him to stop worryin abt what his brother does and to make things better for himself if hes tht bothered.

i might just do that cos i never thought about that so thanks.

my dad is a total wanker. i dont say a thing and i get called names and picked on. im shattered after i come back from work and i just cant be bothered with him so im quiet and then i just get told im in a mood when im not which puts me in a mood

[sarah2]

I know what it's like to have abusive parents, it really fucking runs you down.
I'm so sorry they're being out of order to you.
Have you tried talking to your dad? Just saying, it's not acceptable, he needs to realise he can't say that shit to you, you're old enough to stand up for yourself, just be careful.
As as for your brother, arg, I've got a sister like that, good at fucking everything she is, it was a nightmare living with her! But well, all you can do is be happy for him, I know it's not easy sometimes though. He can acheive high grades and that, but you can also achieve what ever you aim for.
And perhaps your boyfriend has a point that you're depression over this isn't healthy?
Honestly, this happens with relationships, you complain, then he complains and then you complain cos he's complaining and not listening to your complaints! You've both just got the remember, there is two of you, it's got to be give and take and well, everyones got problems! In a relationship, both people will have difficulties, but it's finding a way of helping each other through rather than getting pissed off that's the most important.

[Broken_mind]

thanks sarah. i have spoken 2 my dad once before and it ended in him slappin me...not a gd end. he doesnt communicate so there is no point i just avoid him.

thanks for ur support

yeh thats what annoys me its always about him n wen i just want comforted it never happens. u know wat i mean? xxx

[Markme]

i think your boyfriend is correct in some ways...
yes i dont think it was comforting, but it seams to be the type of way he feels he can help..(thats just comming from my perspective)

i think you should forget on how smart your brother is, you are your own person, your going to get some where in life no matter how smart he is compared to you.

with your dad calling you names, just yell them back or agree, that will piss him off.

i dont mean it in an offending way, but your text message sounds like your winging... and i know guys really dislike it when girls moan about stuff, which may be why he didnt bother comforting you.

the pressure you are receiving are just the failed dreams of your parents..
ignore it and it will go away eventually. its one of thoughs situations where you either ignore it or act on your feelings.

my advice.. go some where and shout, scream, kick and punch it all out

[*White Pearl*]

First of all, dont give a damn what your parents say at all, sure they want you to be at the top of the chart just like your brother, but obviously everyone is not the same. He might be good academically, but you might be good at something he isnt. Your parents or nobody has the right to judge you.
Your boyfriend needs to be understanding, if a guy doesnt like the whining and crap he can simply go to hell, as relationships are about being there for eachother.
I know many guys who dont like women whining but when they have a problem why is it that the girl has to help him ? and why cant he help her when she needs him ?
On the other hand, i know many guys who are very sympathetic, and are understanding, and do care about the womens needs more than theirs, so it does vary.
I know how parents can get, instead of having dinner with them go to your room, lock your door, switch on the tele and enjoy yourself.
If you intend to keep away from your parents go out with your mates, go shopping do anything to keep away from the negativity in your house, because you dont need any kind of pressure adding to your life at the moment.

You and your boyfriend need some serious mature talking, and you need to tell him how you feel in the nicest possible way. If he is not willing to support you or help you, he isnt worth your time.

[Broken_mind]

thanks thing is with the pressure my mum was head girl and my dad was top of all of his uni classes. averaging 98% overall

i have to eat dinner with them or i get yelled at more n if i yell the names back thats when he hits me or something. sss

[Markme]

You are you, you may be better at different things to the things they want you to be good at.

Im certain that you are going to do good at whatever you do, Parents are useless, they can be worse than some of the bullies and torment you can receive at school.

If your dad hits you, contact your local police or something.
You could sue your parents for emotional distress.

There is many options out there for you to go to.
Try explain to your parents what you want to do with YOUR life, parents seam to think because they created you, that its their life.