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| Need Help or Advice?, heres the place Need some advice on a cirtain sticky situation? Or do you just need some one that will lend an ear? Heres the place to come.
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09-03-2008, 05:17 AM
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#1 (permalink)
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Jessamine
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Western Australia (SOMEWHERE)
Posts: 1,226
My Mood: 
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Slowly losing it
For the last 5 month I have been holding myself together. I have been trying so hard not to let myself fall apart. So I didn't give myself time to fall apart. I made myself go out ALL the time, made myself drink, made myself be more social. Mainly cos I just don't trust myself to be alone for too long. So my being too social has upset someone. He doesn't understand why I am the way I am now. And I know he thinks he held me back, but he didn't. It's just me.
I do this so i don't fall apart.
But now..............................
I'm falling apart slowly.
I just want to be happy.
But there is so much going on. And I'm scared to open up to most people cos I just don't know where to begin.
__________________
"I'm not afraid of happy endings, I'm just afraid my life wont work that way"
"I just need a boy to come up to me and give me a hug saying I'm so sorry that almost all of my entire gender sucks"
"Suddenly, this is all too hard. I'm tired of putting up walls. I want someone with the strength and the honesty to knock them down."
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09-03-2008, 05:31 AM
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#2 (permalink)
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...I Thought I Will Take This Time To Say...
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: owensboro, kentucky
Posts: 1,491
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thats sad jess. this is probably really bad advice, but its kinda what i did. just stop doing the things that you know you are only making yourself do to stay together. just let go. let yourself fall apart. let yourself lose it. there will always be someone there to help you put yourself back together. thats when you realize what your life means. thats when you really see who cares about you.
its easier to breakdown and then try to make things better. trying to make things better when you are falling apart isnt easy. it just makes things worse. you will feel better after a breakdown too. cry your eyes out, scream until you cant breathe. do anything you have to.
do that make any sense?
__________________
for every star up there, that's one thing you haven't done
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09-03-2008, 05:52 AM
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#3 (permalink)
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Im a triangle
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,610
My Mood: 
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Quote:
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thats sad jess. this is probably really bad advice, but its kinda what i did. just stop doing the things that you know you are only making yourself do to stay together. just let go. let yourself fall apart. let yourself lose it. there will always be someone there to help you put yourself back together. thats when you realize what your life means. thats when you really see who cares about you.
its easier to breakdown and then try to make things better. trying to make things better when you are falling apart isnt easy. it just makes things worse. you will feel better after a breakdown too. cry your eyes out, scream until you cant breathe. do anything you have to.
do that make any sense?
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Although it is harder trying to keep yourself together than breaking down, i gaurantee your better off not breaking down and going over the edge jess.
I know what you must be feeling, 5 months.. 5 months without feeling his fingers touch you, 5 months without your other half beside you.
i cant tell you that its going to get better, because me and you both know how much of a hold depression can get on people...
But we both know, that you cant fight depression on your own, you cant hide your thoughts, feelings and emotions.
Even if you dont know where to start..
Start with the first thing in your mind.
I will be here for you when ever you need me, stay strong, we've faught this demon before and i know you can fight it again.
__________________
All the things we used to think were happiness, in the end were only pleasures.
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09-03-2008, 06:07 AM
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#4 (permalink)
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Jessamine
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Western Australia (SOMEWHERE)
Posts: 1,226
My Mood:
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Sha, It does make sence.... but i dont have the time to fall apart. I don't have any time to fall apart. I work 10-12 hours a day. I'm away from home for 16 days and home for 5 days. in those 16 days away I have only 1 day off. There's no time to fall apart. I have to hold myself together. Plus i don't want anyone up here to know that side of me. I just can't allow myself to fall apart.
Mark, the thing is. the sadness doesn't have all that much to do with him. I miss him. but not his touch. I miss talking to him. He was my best friend. He knew everything about me.
I agree, i breaking down is to much time wasted. I know I'll get over this. It's just I'm sick and tired of hurting others when I don't mean to.
__________________
"I'm not afraid of happy endings, I'm just afraid my life wont work that way"
"I just need a boy to come up to me and give me a hug saying I'm so sorry that almost all of my entire gender sucks"
"Suddenly, this is all too hard. I'm tired of putting up walls. I want someone with the strength and the honesty to knock them down."
Last edited by OzzieJess; 09-03-2008 at 06:13 AM.
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09-03-2008, 06:12 AM
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#5 (permalink)
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Im a triangle
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,610
My Mood:
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maybe its just time to quit your jobs and go do something else, this seams like its really taking a toll on you
__________________
All the things we used to think were happiness, in the end were only pleasures.
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09-03-2008, 06:22 AM
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#6 (permalink)
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Jessamine
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Western Australia (SOMEWHERE)
Posts: 1,226
My Mood:
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I love my job... I can't imagne doing anything else right now... I think i'll be ok once i get home for my 5 days off... in a week...
I just need to handle myself better...
__________________
"I'm not afraid of happy endings, I'm just afraid my life wont work that way"
"I just need a boy to come up to me and give me a hug saying I'm so sorry that almost all of my entire gender sucks"
"Suddenly, this is all too hard. I'm tired of putting up walls. I want someone with the strength and the honesty to knock them down."
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09-03-2008, 02:32 PM
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#7 (permalink)
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Kitchen Bitch.
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Sunshine Coast, QLD, Australia
Posts: 1,261
My Mood: 
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You need more hugs!, that's what you need!
*group hug*
I hope you can stick it together Jess, we all know that it's in you
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__________________
"As long as you derive inner help and comfort from anything, keep it."
- Mahatma Gandhi
I AM MALE!
,-,-, ';,,;' ,-,-, HERMIT DE CRAB ,-,-, ';,,;' ,-,-,
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09-03-2008, 08:26 PM
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#8 (permalink)
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...I Thought I Will Take This Time To Say...
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: owensboro, kentucky
Posts: 1,491
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yeah true. you will figure it out jess. good luck. you totally deserve to be happy.
__________________
for every star up there, that's one thing you haven't done
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09-03-2008, 11:53 PM
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#9 (permalink)
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Jessamine
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Western Australia (SOMEWHERE)
Posts: 1,226
My Mood:
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Quote:
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You need more hugs!, that's what you need!
*group hug*
I hope you can stick it together Jess, we all know that it's in you
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 1 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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LOL.... this is what my bestie said he's been sending me msgs through the night just say *HUGS* lol...
I'm feeling a bit better today... I'm avoiding as much contact with most people as possible. Well the people that are upsetting me. which is working. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 1 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. So that's always good.
I'm just chilling (WORKING) and i have my IPOD plugged into my ears.
I feel better... a bit... but i normally do after a good night sleep.
__________________
"I'm not afraid of happy endings, I'm just afraid my life wont work that way"
"I just need a boy to come up to me and give me a hug saying I'm so sorry that almost all of my entire gender sucks"
"Suddenly, this is all too hard. I'm tired of putting up walls. I want someone with the strength and the honesty to knock them down."
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09-04-2008, 01:22 AM
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#10 (permalink)
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Check It! I Found The Emerald City!
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: The Sunshine State, Oz
Posts: 336
My Mood: 
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Oh Jess.
*joins in hug*
I hope you feel better soon. You work so hard and deserve to be happy.
__________________
The world is long and the traveller tires,
Fuck the world and fuck its liars.
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09-04-2008, 01:25 AM
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#11 (permalink)
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A Bit Of A Chatty One I Am
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: The Palice of Wisdom
Posts: 592
My Mood: 
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*joins the hug*
__________________
"The worst idea since Hitlers dad said to Hitlers mum, 'Come up stairs Broonhilda, I'm feeling Frisky!'" - Hugo, The Vicor of Dibley
"The word "Love" in Kazakhstan means: To shit on your mother's face over a long period of time."
Morrison: I'm Jonny Morrison and once Penthouse offerd me One Million Dollers for my baby picture, i refused
Miz: you turnd down penthouse?
Morrison: Jonny Morrison is not for sail
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09-04-2008, 02:21 AM
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#12 (permalink)
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Jessamine
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Western Australia (SOMEWHERE)
Posts: 1,226
My Mood:
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ohhh that's it... i feel loved.. lol
__________________
"I'm not afraid of happy endings, I'm just afraid my life wont work that way"
"I just need a boy to come up to me and give me a hug saying I'm so sorry that almost all of my entire gender sucks"
"Suddenly, this is all too hard. I'm tired of putting up walls. I want someone with the strength and the honesty to knock them down."
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09-04-2008, 02:31 AM
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#13 (permalink)
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A Bit Of A Chatty One I Am
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: The Palice of Wisdom
Posts: 592
My Mood:
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we wuv you jess
__________________
"The worst idea since Hitlers dad said to Hitlers mum, 'Come up stairs Broonhilda, I'm feeling Frisky!'" - Hugo, The Vicor of Dibley
"The word "Love" in Kazakhstan means: To shit on your mother's face over a long period of time."
Morrison: I'm Jonny Morrison and once Penthouse offerd me One Million Dollers for my baby picture, i refused
Miz: you turnd down penthouse?
Morrison: Jonny Morrison is not for sail
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09-04-2008, 02:42 AM
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#14 (permalink)
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Jessamine
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Western Australia (SOMEWHERE)
Posts: 1,226
My Mood:
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my love you ALL...................
__________________
"I'm not afraid of happy endings, I'm just afraid my life wont work that way"
"I just need a boy to come up to me and give me a hug saying I'm so sorry that almost all of my entire gender sucks"
"Suddenly, this is all too hard. I'm tired of putting up walls. I want someone with the strength and the honesty to knock them down."
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