Depression possibly triggerin - i need to cut

Anonymous · 08-24-2008, 12:47 AM

iv been feeling weard 4 a cople of days, dont know y or where it came from, but its their. the need to cut. weny out lst night, got a shave b4 i got dressed and i was so tempted to run the blade sidwase, cutting ur self shaveing is innocent right?

weard thing is, i dnt feel deprsd jdt a weard blod lust - help?

Markme · 08-24-2008, 10:11 AM

I dont really understand why people cut... my understand is so that they know they are alive, because they feel nothing all the time..

But i do not believe that cutting yourself shaving on purpous is innocent.
what has been on your mind to trigger these thoughts?

rez · 08-24-2008, 10:26 AM

Sweetie - you need to take a deep breath and remember what will happen if you do this. Those kind of thoughts fuck with you.Believe me I know. It feels so tempting, like it can solve your problems.... somtimes you just want to see youself bleed.
Even if you don't 'feel depressed' you recognise that these feelings are not healthy. Breathe deep and remember that you can beat this- you don't need that shit. pm me whenever you want. Yu are strong and I believe you can get through this.
You are not the only one that feels like that - and you are not alone.
Take care.

Anonymous · 08-24-2008, 06:17 PM

i was in the shower the other day, i ran my fingers over an old scar, i missed it. i actually missed the cutting, the blood, fuck i even missed coveing it up and the shaim i felt afterwords. man im fuckd up

i dnt evn know wats triggrd this, lik i say im relitvly happy, evn gt som gd news the othr day, ud think id be glad to be cut free

OzzieJess · 08-25-2008, 03:29 AM

so i kinda understand to a point how you are feeling... 2 weeks ago i was sitting at my desk and i just had the urge to cut... and it's been 3 yrs for me.. Every now and then i'll run my fingers over my scars and i miss the feeling... i miss the rush.. i miss that i was the only one who knew...

But i bet you can hold off until the urge is gone...

CJDude · 08-29-2008, 07:55 PM

FUCK! i cut! i hate the fact that i did this. i hate my self so much right now, I hate the student loan company! fucking stressing my out with their forms

OzzieJess · 08-29-2008, 11:33 PM

ok breathe.... just breathe..... it's going to be ok. even the best fall down sometimes.

I'll talk to you on msn... easier.

nelvannya · 08-30-2008, 02:13 AM

You need to calm down. Okay so you cut, you broke the promise to yourself, what now. Are you going to fall into the same pit, or are you going to prove to yourself that you might stumble but that is all it will be a stumble.
You will be okay, as long as you understand that it was a little mistake, and try (because thats all we can ask of ourselfs) a full blown effort to not do it again. If you find yourself truely truely needing it maybe you need to start writing a log. Or take this time as an oppurtunity to improve yourself, when you need to cut go run, or some form of excerise... or find some upbeat music and dance around your room like a moron. But if the problem persits find some help, before this gets worse.

OzzieJess · 08-30-2008, 05:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nelvannya
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or find some upbeat music and dance around your room like a moron.

OMG this is what i do when i'm starting to feel down... i dance like a moron and make myself laugh... i also sing at the top of my lungs lol

Markme · 08-30-2008, 07:55 AM

yea, we all fuck up at some point in time.
it sucks, but its what happens.
success is just measured on the amount of times you failed and got back up.

rez · 08-30-2008, 01:19 PM

Thinking of you CJ.
I hope you are ok - I agree with Nelv post. It's happened, so what are you going to do now?
You are going to be okay... okay?

CJDude · 08-30-2008, 05:00 PM

im going to be ok, because i have no chice but to be ok. as for what am i going to do now? i dont know, its all so much more complicated then last year, i hate the fucking forms, they stress me out, and it askes for the details of why i quit uni last year, and personal reasons just wont cut it, how do i say, i went insaine one night and carved up my arm so my tuttor sugested that i might like to go home and chill for a bit?