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Old 08-15-2008, 02:14 AM   #1 (permalink)
Jessamine
 
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Trigger... :S

So i was on Facebook. Like normal. And i'm on a thing called Stickerz... anyway i'm just going through and looking at all the pictures... and i came across one of someone cutting and blood pooling in there hand into a heart..
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and for the first time in probably 2 and a half years... i wanted to cut... it took over everything i knew... i had to drop everything from my hands and tell myself i can't do that...

It's the first time since i quit that i've seen a picture like this... :( it was so hard... i couldn't believe it..

it's still in my head...
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Old 08-15-2008, 10:54 PM   #2 (permalink)
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you are stronger than that, you dont need to cut, u can get past this.
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Old 08-16-2008, 12:28 AM   #3 (permalink)
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As with all recovering addicts, whether it's alcohol, drugs etc, you're gonna have times when you feel like you wanna go back to your old ways. But then you have to start all over again don't you? Just for that 15-odd mins of doing it, you've thrown away two and a half years.

In the end, as much as you feel you want to do it, you know it's a bad idea and you shouldn't and it's not worth it after 2 and a half years. You're clearly strong enough to resist cutting considering how long its been and so you need to just keep telling yourself this. It's just another milestone as it was when you first stopped, and then the first time you felt triggered, and so on. Just enough step closer to leaving that part of you behind.
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Be strong!
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Old 08-16-2008, 01:03 AM   #4 (permalink)
Jessamine
 
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thanks.. well i was strong.. didn't do anything...
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i couldnt do it anyway.. I'd hate myself to much for allowing myself to fail
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thanks..
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"I'm not afraid of happy endings, I'm just afraid my life wont work that way"

"I just need a boy to come up to me and give me a hug saying I'm so sorry that almost all of my entire gender sucks"

"Suddenly, this is all too hard. I'm tired of putting up walls. I want someone with the strength and the honesty to knock them down."
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