Past is past... right?

Shinzy · 07-09-2008, 08:03 AM

Heyy.. My first proper post.

Well, i don't know whats going on. It's not a problem of a sort but it's just..
*sighs*

I have a boyfriend. We're sooo happy, i mean really happy. I've had bad relationships like anyone does and they usually dont last long.. but this is so much more. We've been together 8 months now, (9 on the 30th
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) and yeah, we've had a few bumpy roads (mainly my control freak father) but we've stayed strong and though its been 8 months we havent even started the lives we wanted so there's alot going in this. So far, ive said nothing but good but there's this little nag in my head.
An ex.. well, i dont really know whether to call him that. He lives in another country and i never met him but we were girlfriend and boyfriend so to speak.
We lost contact after i said it wouldn't work and we've recently been speaking again.. he has a new girlfriend and he's been with her 9 months. Great i thought. But.. its not so great. I still have huge feelings... urges to meet him. We could meet as friends but im afraid it'd be more on my part. He says he still loves me.. which makes me happy. its wrong i know. I just get so drawn. He's a very close friend and knows pretty much everything about me. And it makes me wonder if im too young to settle down and thoughts just go on from there....
I really love my boyfriend but i don't want to stop talking to my ex.. but i dont see a way round it.. to stop the urges and the feelings.. Who says that ex's cant be friends?
*sighs*

Markme · 07-09-2008, 08:20 AM

haha im friends with a select few of my ex's...
but mostly its right, ex's cant be friends.

i think you just have to shut off the urge, block him, block his emails, forget about him.
little things can grow into big problems in the end.

i dont think any one is ready to settle down at this age, so it makes its a dilema..
live it up while your young i guess, try not to regret anything..(kinda contradicts what i first said)

Shinzy · 07-09-2008, 08:28 AM

Lol no, no i get what you mean.
Its just i love my boyfriend so much and couldnt imagine being without him BUT would love to meet my ex and see what'd happen...
Thats the bit i hate lol

Markme · 07-09-2008, 08:46 AM

haha...
trust me on this one, if you cant be without your boyfriend, dont even think about going there..
ive been there, done it and at first things werent bad, but in the end they got very fucked..

Shinzy · 07-09-2008, 09:51 AM

Yeah, i know what you mean.. seen plenty friends do it.
Thanks. I dont think i would go through with it, like i said i love my boyfriend. Just that little nag in the back of your head. But i know it'll stay there

CJDude · 07-09-2008, 01:52 PM

if you love your lad, then their is your answer! stay with him and be strong. Have you talked about any of this with the lad?

Confubbled.. · 07-09-2008, 02:59 PM

Are you willing to give up everything you have with your boyfriend for someone in another country. If the answers no..then don't even go there. Cut him off now. It'll make it easier in the end even if you really want to talk to him and meet him. If you go down that road now it could just make everything harder in the long run.

CyberPhoenix Kay? · 07-10-2008, 08:28 AM

I agree with Cj, if you do love your boyfriend, what more could you need?
Love is the most powerful thing in the universe and you won't find anything better, if you got it, why look for anything else?

I am friends with both my ex's and my gf is friends with almost all of hers, so i do beleive it is possible to remain friends, it all really depends on HOW close you were to that EX, the closer the harder it would be...

But yeah, if he says he still loves you, well, i'd stay away...because that's trouble..

Markme · 07-10-2008, 12:59 PM

in reply to love is the most powerful thing in the universe............
read my signature and assimilate it with love..

Shinzy · 07-10-2008, 06:12 PM

I know what you you're all saying.. i mean i'd give the same advice.
Just the urge ya know?

And Confubbled.. No i wouldnt leave him for the other guy, i wouldnt dream of it. Its just.. a what could of been moment i guess =[

CJ.. which lad, the one from the other country? If so, yeah, he knows how i feel which makes it worse. I reckon he eggs it on.

CyberPhoenix Kay? · 07-11-2008, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Markme
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in reply to love is the most powerful thing in the universe............
read my signature and assimilate it with love..

Love is more than just pleasures,

Love is your best friend who you know won't let you down,
Love is doing what you love doing,
Love is spending time with the people that make your life what it is.
Sure, Pleasure is part of it, but not much of it.
For example. I love this site, i do not have to be married to it to love it...

Everything that is good in this world has somting to do with love...

Some things bad yeah, but, ultimately they come from somthing good.

Markme · 07-11-2008, 01:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CyberPhoenix Kay?
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Love is more than just pleasures,

Love is your best friend who you know won't let you down,
Love is doing what you love doing,
Love is spending time with the people that make your life what it is.
Sure, Pleasure is part of it, but not much of it.
For example. I love this site, i do not have to be married to it to love it...

Everything that is good in this world has somting to do with love...

Some things bad yeah, but, ultimately they come from somthing good.

Wrong christoph....
By accepting to be an administrator... you married me.... which means... you married Exasco
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.

Shinzy, we are all young, to put it in a realistic view...
do you see yourself with the same boy in 10 years time?
if not, theeennnn i guess you could go try the international boy, growing up is suppose to about experiences...

Onced you've experienced enough from all the different categories of life and you have matured and come to appreciate your past, that is when you start to settle down...
but not when there is unturned stones that you think about all the time.

PILLZ-E · 07-11-2008, 03:27 AM

Im only on friendly terms with one of my ex's
which just basically means I dont hide just to avoid them.
dont talk to any of them out of respect for my girlfriend and out of respect for myself *shruugz*

OzzieJess · 07-11-2008, 08:13 AM

It's hard to be friends with an ex. cos there's always a reason to break p and that reason could be anything but if you can't be with them cos of that reason then it's hard to be friends with them.

I believe that you already know what to do. and you've already made your mind up. you just needed to hear it as well.

for all it's worth i hope you stay with your boyfriend.