Im scaring myself.

Broken_mind · 03-29-2008, 06:37 PM

im really starting to worry about myself and i know it seems like im constantly moaning on here but im just at such a low point and i honestly have nobody to talk to.

I feel no use in my life anymore.
I have nothing to aim for and there is nothing i want to do in my life.
I think about suicide almost every day, i know i wouldnt but i wish that i could.
I spend all my days drinking now just to try and numb the pain cos that way i dont think
I just go to bed earlier and earlier because when im asleep and dreaming it seems to be the only time im actually happy.
The thought of having to carry on whatim doing just seems pointless but i have no choice.
I wish i wasnt so pathetic and useless.
Stupid thing is now tho i might be pregnant which is not fair.
Its always girls that have to deal with the side effects.
I know i wouldnt keep it but even still its odd thinking there could be another human being growing inside of me.

I wish i could drive so badly cos i would get out of my house and just be able to go away and think about things.

sorry for the stupid long thread.

Almost-Insane · 03-30-2008, 01:25 PM

i think i should point out that this is sorta how i was feeling when i made a certain mistake (one that i was blasted for doing for attention) well you know except the pregnancy part. vicki just hang in there, youll be in st andrews soon and then things will change, i think for you it might be best to put edinburgh behind you and start completely fresh when in uni, if you think about this place then youll be thinkin abt all the bad points so try to keep your mind off it, make new friends etc and move on with ur life, happiness for u is possible you just need to be patient just now and hang on.

Broken_mind · 03-31-2008, 06:36 PM

but what if stuff in st andrews isnt how i imagined it. What if i dont meet people.

Almost-Insane · 03-31-2008, 06:44 PM

then make yourself meet new ppl, the place is huge theres gonna be at least one person for u to talk to. just wing it, show confidence and bubbliness and ppl will come to u.

nelvannya · 03-31-2008, 10:09 PM

Sweetie I think all will get better.
You sound very stressed... I think you need to find a hobby, something to keep your mind busy, something constructive. Literally, my grandma just read to me that sewing is the best stress buster, try that.. or something to get some stress relief.
I really hope that you are not Pregnant... if you are, there are a couple of options... remember that there are THOUSANDS of people wishing they had a child of their own.
I hope that you are not pregnant, I hope that you can get your life destressed, and dont worry about people, you are a really sweet girl you are bound to find a group of people that you like.

Broken_mind · 04-01-2008, 12:44 AM

i just dont want people to see wat a bloody headcase i am. it stresses me just being me!

nelvannya · 04-01-2008, 01:00 AM

Figure yourself out sweetie.
Get yourself together (in no way am I trying to be harsh). Take some downtime, destress and get is together.
You are a strong person! You can do this, straighten it out with you and then deal with what the world thinks of you

Broken_mind · 04-01-2008, 01:10 AM

thanks nel. its jus not as easy as it sounds as im sure u know x