Love, what does it mean to you?

[Markme]

This is a discussion about love and what it means to you.

I'm a very much cold person these days, after life experiences and events.
love to me is really nothing, a chemical attraction/addiction you get when you are around certain people.

kinda the same need you get when your addicted to drugs, but a different feeling. Love has been moulded into something that it isnt.
Back in your grand parents day, love may have been true, and the devorce rate was not high.

I know some people are going to bring up the topic of "love" for your parents, but when your a child/growing up, that person has been there the entire way and you know no different other than this person has provided for you and helped you along the way.

this picture sums up my thoughts on love...(take note of the writing)

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some of you may recognise the girl in the photo.. murdered teenager Anna Svidersky. RIP

[Betsybug0]

You know why the divorce rates were not high? Because it was socially unacceptable to get a divorce. Why do you think Kings and Queens had lovers?


Love is making sacrifices, loving unconditionally and wholly. It's loving after they are gone... after they have become terminally ill, lost limbs, become brain damaged, old & saggy. Changing & listening, choosing them over everyone else, giving them the benefit of the doubt.

[Markme]

Loving some one after they have left you is hopeless though, because they most likely will not come back. Chemical addictions(love) last after they are terminally ill, lost limbs, become brain damaged, old & saggy.

If you "loved" some one, but you had known your friends alot longer than the person you loved.. would you choose your friends or your lover?

because in the end.. "love" always hurts, 100% gauranteed that its going to hurt.

[!-nessica-!]

ima lil confused...
buttt depends which way you look at it.
you can be in love or you can just love someone.
i think many people fall in and out of love.. but if you truly love someone it lasts forever. its a hard thing to define... but i think no matter what everyone should love and be loved by someone.. becoz it (usually) makes people happier when they know that someone really is there for them.. kinda what i think love is.

[Okta20]

Love? Difficult thing.
I've never been in love *that* way. You need to love yourself for that, and I'm still having issues with that. If I can't stand me, why should anybody else?
I don't really know the feeling, so I can live without it, although it *does* hurt sometimes.

I'd like to say that I have loved a few people though. Loving someone and being in love can be quite different. I care for people, and I do so quite easily. I am a very gentle girl.
Whom I love, I protect. I worry about them. I listen to them. Sometimes I live for them, because dying for them wouldn't be too difficult for me.

[sarah2]

Originally Posted by Markme
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Loving some one after they have left you is hopeless though, because they most likely will not come back. Chemical addictions(love) last after they are terminally ill, lost limbs, become brain damaged, old & saggy.

If you "loved" some one, but you had known your friends alot longer than the person you loved.. would you choose your friends or your lover?

because in the end.. "love" always hurts, 100% gauranteed that its going to hurt.

I don't agree with you, loving someone after they are gone is never hopeless. When a family member you love dearly (for example, your parents) die, will you stop loving them? Even though it hurts when they first leave you, your love for them then becomes a source of comfort in their memory. You do not love the memory of them, but their personality and them as a person, even though they're not around.

I agree with you that love is chemicals working in the brain, but they are important chemicals that can last a life time. We do not just dismiss depression, schizophrenia, happiness and thoughts and opinions as "just chemicals in the brain" do we? They still matter and are still ligitimate problems or emotions or thoughts. Your thoughts are "just" chemicals, your mind, all your opinions, physically are in your brain, just a mass of electrical impulses and chemicals, do they not matter either?


Honestly, I don't think it matters wether you love or are in love with someone becuase essentially the emotion is the same, people reffer to being "in love" as loving someone but with added sexual attraction and passion, they are different emotions, but love is not sex, love is not passion or lust, it's comfortable and can be for a lover or a parent.

Love to me is something that has to be worked on. It will not develop without compromise and give and take. Love hurts and love is wonderful as well, you just need to find the happiness in it. When my boyfriend died, I thought love was dead, and that the only type of love I had ever had was now gone and my emotions were buried with him. But I've realised that what we had was love and passion. The physical passion we shared, has gone and will not come back, but the love we shared, that I feel we still share will never leave me. I do not love his memory but him as a person and now him as however he exists now (if he even does). Just because he is not with me physically, dosn't mean I don't feel comfort and happiness and warmth at the thought of him.
When I found my NA sponser, I discovered more about love. She has put up with so much from me, and I have given her nothing physically in return. That's love, she has risked her sobriety for mine. She has been to places she never thought she would return to, to save my life. That she loves me that much is still a shock to me. That is love, going all the way for someone.
So what I'm saying is, the more love you experiance, wether it ends or carries on, the more you learn about it.

[Markme]

i guess in the end, from the love experiences and relationships and basically just how my life has run its journey... im a bitter person.

ive personally watched every one ive loved walk away from me and the only person that hasnt.. only keeps me here because she needs me and she knows it.

so for the people that can find love, i salute you and hope it lasts...

[sarah2]

But that's just your out look on life. You don't have to be bitter.
I could very easily be bitter as hell, everyone I have ever loved has left me, abused me, hurt me, abandonded me, cheated me and even died on me when I needed them most. There is still hope though, if I can go through all of that and still realise that love and living is possible, so can you.
Love is hope and without the hope that you will find someone, sometime in the future, you wont. Being cynical gets you no where in my opinion. But well, it happens dosn't it, things change and so will your situations you find yourself in and then your opinions on subjects will too. We're all young anyway, we've got so much more time than we can imagine to find a way to experiance love in a way we want to.

[Markme]

im not going to get any where, because im not trying to get some where..
im happy by my self, i preffere it. maybe one day it will be my destruction, but for now im happy and i'd rather a career and money over a devorce and loss of half my assets.

but now im curious, if people know that in the end they are going to eventually get hurt, then why take the chance at the start?

[sarah2]

Because...if you care enough about someone, it dosn't matter how much it hurts in the end, it's worth it.
I was so angry and upset and hurt when Seb died, and it hurts everyday, I miss him so much sometimes I feel like I can't survive this bereivment. But I wouldn't go back on the time we had to take away this pain, becuase it was so good, it was worth all of this.
And for a lot of people, it dosn't end.

[Almost-Insane]

for me its just an excuse to hurt yourself, yes it can feel good but thats not always a permanent feeling. i used to want to be loved and to love ppl back, be happy with someone but everytime i get close to someone they end up hurting me, a lot of ppl get freaked out by me, ive had ppl i liked literally scream and run away from me and others just single me out so its all just a cycle of pain so i dont like it, so im somewhere on the same lines as mark. for those tht it does work out for then fine but for now, as far as im concerned its a waste of time and too much of a big risk that i dont want to take again.

[OzzieJess]

you had of asked me this say 3-5 years ago and my answer would have been love is nothing but an illusion, you let someone in and they hurt you and leave and if your stupid enough you do it again.

but now, i am in love.
i was the girl that didnt want to be alive that lived in nightmares and just hated the world i didnt want to live to be 18, 21 let alone 40, 50, 60. i hated the idea of putting up with everything i've been through.
but then i meet glenn and my head changed my heart changed. he help me fix what was broken. it took me over a year to let him in as there is only 1 other person in the world who hasnt left me (my best mate hales)
so for me to love someone is hard, i have to be able to let down the walls and give myself all to person and say this is me i am not perfect i am not even close to ok, i am broken in more ways then most people can understand. which was and is hard for me to do. but with glenn everything seemed good.
i will marry him and i will love him forever, even if it doesnt work. cos i know he loves me too. and for this moment in time we had something most people will never understand. but i'm not stupid and i know that people change and love fails. i don't have alot of good role models when it comes to love.
i will love Glenn when i'm old and grey. and i know i no matter what happens i'll be ok now.
if glenn left me tomorrow i'd live, the world would stop spinning for a few weeks and i'd be broken but i'd live, and i'd learn and i'd get back up and try again.
Love hurts, but when it's true and when it's real it is the most amazing feeling better then any drug. better then any thrill.
for me love is a thrill, for it could end at any moment.

for whose who think love is nothing are missing out.
For as the old saying goes "It's better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all."

when you a kid and a teenager and even most young adults love isnt going to last forever. (not always) you will get your heart broken a hundred times but you have to get back up and keep trying cos you never know if it's going to work or not. you never know unless you try.

[Markme]

i majourly agree with you jess on the fact that relationships even into your young adult years have a very high, almost certain fail rate.

im glad you have found your other half and that you now have some one to confide in.

[OzzieJess]

you will that someone too. i have no doubt you will found someone. and that everyone here will. cos everyone here is just amazing.

[thockam]

love = 50 bucks for a good time haha naa jokes. means alot
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