Making Friends vs Personality types

[Markme]

Myself and Ness had a conversation recently about meeting new people and making friends.
It was quite interesting as we were discussing on how i can make many friends, whilst im blunt and come across as mean, yet a person who is very nice to people all of the time can find it hard to make new friends.

We both arent really sure on why a person thats kinda mean and blunt can make friends easier than the "nice guy".

So im wondering if any of you guys have any theories.

The story about me is that, i make friends really easy.. and i find it extremely easy to talk to people i dont know.
but at the same time i dont hold back, i tell people exactly how i feel about them, yet they seam to accept my oppinion and put up with me for some reason.

[!-nessica-!]

apparently you have a calming affect on people. i think that your confidence has a lot to do with the fact that you make friends easy. people are attracted to people that can talk, and that will start a conversation. makes it easier for them.
also when you are upfront, it shows people that you're honest and a lot are attracted to that in a friend as well.

even though you're blunt.. you only say things if they're true.. and you're not so much mean as intimidating.

[wrlit_sists]

hmm that's interesting...

i like to think i'm a nice person...and i try my best to be nice to people

but i find it really difficult to make friends...but i think thats maybe because i'm so shy

because on here i have no trouble talking to people...but if this forum was a face to face situation i'd be a nervous wreck in the corner somewhere

mark maybe part of the reason people become friends with you is because they respect your honesty?

hmm i dunno

it'll be interesting so see other peoples points of view on this

[!-nessica-!]

most people do find it difficult when they are put in a situation where they dont know anyone. its because they dont feel comfortable, and when someone comes along who does feel comfortable talking about whatever, people wanna be their friend coz then when they go places with them they feel a little more comfortable themselves. thats what i think anyway... if that makes any sense.

[stigma]

I think that almost anyone can be friends with all the supposed "personality types". You know I have friends that are pushy, bitches, assholes, shy, outgoing ect...but in the end when you get deep into that person, they are just a person who goes through life, just like everyone else. Friends are there to be accepted and loving, we all have our quirks and tweaks, but everyone is human underneath the person they put on for the world. The strongest most ridged person can be weak and broken at some point.

[My Dreams killed me]

My thoughts are that often nice people often also come with the personallity quirke of either being shy, or having certain issues with confidence or there ability to speak gracefully. Sometimes people can take this third situation as stupidity, when it really isn't the case.

On the other half of the spectrum. People that can be seen as blunt often also contain the quality traits such as charisma, humor, and easygoingness. Sometimes people are attracted to bluntness, seeing it relates to honesty. Nice people have a tedency of being over-nice, or trying not to offend someone and may often lie to make the person feel better, which may lead the to the impression that they are "sucking up" or just plain "not being truthful" Mean people who arn't assholes (people that are mean just to be mean) can often also be seen as very truthful. People that arn't offended easy can get along faster with mean people than "suck ups".
Of course that's just an observation, I don't really have evidence to back any of this up.

[nelvannya]

It is because you are blunt that people like you.
It is really annoying, because life is constantly full of "sunshine blowers up your assers", and sometimes you want someone to tell you the truth.
To be honest I have never thought you to be "mean", maybe because your "blunt" style makes sense to me, so it comes out truthful and not bullshit.
I think people like you, because they know what to expect from you, you are stable. If I say something dumb, or complain to you about something that is because of my own fault, I know what kind of answer to expect from you. People like you because you are stable, on top of that sometimes people NEED them to tell them, what they know they SHOULD be doing, and they know you will say it to them.
Honesty is a valued character, in this "touchy, sensitive, cover up the truth, here is an A for effort" society, we need and want people to tell it like it is.
People like truth, because truth is stablity

[Markme]

haha thanks nelv, although i still get soo many people that tell me that i think im the best thing in the world and that im upmyself and mean...
i mean come on, you have to be confident or your going to hate yourself.