19-07-08

I don't know how i'm feeling at the moment. I'm just living moment by moment. Getting through the day is my goal. I wont allow myself to fall apart. I wont allow myself to stop long enough to fall apart. Which is why i love my job, i work 11 hours a day 13 days a fortnight. I don't have much time to think about myself often, and i'm hardly ever alone. And at the moment that's working for me. If i let myself fall apart now.... well.... I just don't have 3 years to put myself back together. I'm not a kid anymore. I have to work, and live.

I know i had to take holidays so that's the other thing I did to myself. I just booked tickets to Melb, I thought about it for a few days and just did it. I want to see the world, and the worlds not coming to me so i have to get off my ass and go. I'm not going to put off my life anymore.