Never Leave my heart open

So a few posts back i mentioned Eli. And that i liked him. Well i'm not sure that i do. I'm confusing myself.

I think the only reason i like him is cos i know i cant have him. I always did like a challenge.

I really am just happy being single. I am learning alot about myself. Like I can do anything i want. That it's ok to be loud and annoying, it's ok to be me. I don't have to be as grown up as i've been pretending. I'm learning I dont need anyone. I can do this all by myself. I can survive I will survive.

But for now, I just want to live.