So it has been a while since I blogged.

nelvannya

I adore him so much.
My mother made a comment that he is the difference between dating a man and a boy.
And I get it. All those years I was looking for a man, and never came across one. How could I look for something I could not identify.
A man is someone who will treat you with respect, kindness, and like you are the most important person.

nelvannya

I am "dating" again...
It's so very odd to date again. But more importantly I can see me being very cautious, after Sean (technically Zoe but he wasnt long enough), I dont like it when he compliments me. It makes me nervous when he offers to pay.
It's so odd

nelvannya

I dont want to do this anymore... Im tired and Im sick... and sometime you just want everything to stop
All it take is something, no matter how little it was, that was going right, to go wrong... to put you right back there

Im not going to school tommorow, Im not going Wensday either....
I dont want to... Im really tired and I need some sleep

nelvannya

No more fat, No more useless boys, No more crying Natasha, No more slacking Tacha, NO MORE...

This is not just a moment change but this is my junior year of highschool the most important year, I need to get my shit together, I need to get my theatre body back, I need to start kicking ass a tournaments (not just winning but straight up and down ass kicking), I need to find a tutor in math, so I finger the man (ace the SAT), I want college, I want to learn knowledge (not this shit...

nelvannya

I am so fucking tired of blogs... I am tired of sitting at this damn computer typing a fucking blog, for no purpose other than to let the world know I am upset.
I am very tired, I am really upset, I cant stop crying I just, I cant make it stop... and its all frivously shit. Im so fucking stressed about nothing and everything hurts,, my back aches and my fingers are cramped and I am losing my voice for the second time in two weeks.
My hair is fallin out, I cant stand to be around the...

nelvannya

I swear to God if I drop one more tear... Im going to scream

nelvannya

SO he is gone... he didnt even fight for me. Today is our anniversary.

nelvannya

I dropped her off today... 4 more months and I see her again...

nelvannya

So as many of you know, Im upset with Sean. Infact for about the past month I have been upset with Sean. Im annoyed because any other man that upset me this much would be gone, including HIM. But unfortunatly I love Sean. And yes man of you are going, "oh god a teen love story", and to be completely honest with you I feel the same way. When I first felt love for Sean, I was scared I freaked, because I dont love. I dont believe in love, it doesnt exist, especially at my age. I am the first...

nelvannya