I want STABILITY!!!!

So as many of you know, Im upset with Sean. Infact for about the past month I have been upset with Sean. Im annoyed because any other man that upset me this much would be gone, including HIM. But unfortunatly I love Sean. And yes man of you are going, "oh god a teen love story", and to be completely honest with you I feel the same way. When I first felt love for Sean, I was scared I freaked, because I dont love. I dont believe in love, it doesnt exist, especially at my age. I am the first one to gag when someone say (ages 12-21) "I love him/her".

But I am in love with him. I cant stop loving him, it pisses me off. Any other man that upsets me this much would be gone, with the exception of HIM. He has done so much for me, he has pulled down some huge walls. Walls that I couldnt for the life of me bring down, walls that had been there for years, he broke them in less than 2 months. He was so stable, he was (GOD strike me down), not normal, he was (ahhhhh) what felt to be possible that person. He had me thinking, talking about marriage.

I DONT BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE. I have never wanted to be married, not because I dont want to be a wife, or I cant commit to a person, but I fear being left. I dont want to be left. Im tired of men leaving me, or leaving woman. I have watched one of the strongest marriage of 15 years (the marriage other marriages modeled themselfs off of) end, I have watch one of the most wonderful woman be left, just because it wasnt the flavor of the month. I DONT WANT TO BE LEFT. Everyone leaves me, I am always strong enough to carry on, and I am always strong enough to carry others from the mud, and when they leave me I am capable of pressing on.

I just want someone to stay. Someone to say, "I love you, and I wont leave you." I want someone strong enough to carry me...

I WANT STABILITY, and he was it... I cant do this again.

Fuck Love.