Happiness being sucked out

Right now as I'm sitting, 2:16 in the A.M. I have come to a discovery....I'm just not happy anymore, I mean here I am at a friends house, usually that cheers me up...but not this time. I'm usually so alive, and full of energy, but not anymore. The hours go slower in the day...it seems that minutes turn into hours. I'm not sure what's going on, everything is like one giant blur, and althought the hours go slow, it seems that last week was yesterday...It's going so fast, but at a slow pace...does that even make sense, I guess not. I see old habits returning, darker habits I've thought for sure were gone. If it gets worse I don't know what I can do....It's so hard not being seen for who you really are....They judge you based on the past, and they ignore the fact that you have dreams for the future...it seems that once again....My dreams killed me.