I dont know who you are anymore

Over the years we have had many good times together, i've enjoyed all the times ive spent with the friends i used to have.
I cant begin to describe how hurt i am, how badly i feel because of the way ive been treated by you people.

I havnt been cruel or unloyal to any of you ever, but the gratitude you show back with back stabbing me, standing me up, ditching me and making me feel like crap is not something i want in return for how i treat you all.
I can no longer count you as a closer friend and i can loosely place you with my group of friends, i can be very angry at you, but i can never hate you.

I just wish i could hate you and put you into the back of my mind and forget about you all.
As a person who is suppose to be good friends with me, you have really made me distrust the rest of the population because of the shit you have done.

I feel like i dont have a true friend in the world.
There is going to be people saying, i have never done anything to hurt you and the truth to that is, i probably never see them and that is not a true friend either.
People claim to be my friend and i dont know why, it bother me more these days as i am leaving soon.
Do i really have alot of real friends i am leaving behind or just a group of people who would say they are my friend because they are getting something out of it.

i wish i could just shut away the world, live a life where i dont have to see any one and die a lonely man.