update

so here are what's going on in my head..

5weeks holidays from uni...great eh?
christmas??...is it even gonna happen this year?
i miss how things used to be.
i miss not worrying about money.
i miss having money.

because of me going to uni,mam and dad are really struggling. at the mo im looking for a job.really have to find one

my bro has cut down on his drinking which is good.
but my cousin just died because of his alcohol problem.
and my godfather isn't stil ruining everybody'd lives because of his.

i haven't cut in months and months which is realy good too

but i want to..won't though.

i have a boyfriend...that really likes me...

there's the problem..he likes me too much..and i can't deal with that. i find myself pushing him away like i do to every fella i get close to.

arrrrgggghh

i have only one friend that ive really stayed close to.that sucks.

mam has a new job so i don't see her much. bro has a new job so i don't see him either. and dad is always in a bad mood these days.

:( in general things aren't so bad i gues..but i can't help but feel shitty.

ahhhhhhh