I feel really stupid tonight, just like I havn't got a mind, all cloudy and confused, but kind of peaceful and gently fucked, it's not bad!
I'm just thinking, just sort of, worrying. I'm scared, I am so afraid, I feel like there is something eating me away from inside and there sort of is isnt there? I feel like I'm completly ignoring this huge part of me that should be there, like saying 'look after yourself', like I don't have that part of me anymore. I am scared to die, but not, not scared...

sarah2

Fuck, I really wish I could just talk shit over you know?
Just get it all out and stop lying to everyone, well, and like open up to myself. It's fucking scary though.
I want someone so badly to just be here, someone to hug and just break it down with me, try and sort shit out.
I'm so fucking lonely and I can't deal with being so alone at the moment.
I don't want to be ashamed anymore, but I dunno how to make this shame go away, I don't know how to stop hating myself...

sarah2