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I think you have the case of the "he said, she said bullshit". And what I have found to be the best way to deal with it, is say the exact same thing to the same people, and make it clear that this issue is about you and me... not you me and joe.
So sit her down, make sure you use lots of "this is not about him" and lots of "no offenses"... and make sure the other person knows what is being said, so that there is not comparing stories or you muddling up your words.
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You hear, O LORD,
the desire of the afflicted;
you encourage them,
and you listen to their cry,
defending the fatherless and the oppressed,
in order that man, who is of the earth,
may terrify no more.
Psalm 10:17-18
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