[sarah2]

Yeah, I know they can't disciminate, especially on the HIV front but I think they're allowed to say I'm not appropriate for a lot of jobs, because I still rely on drugs, state given drugs, but, I'm dependant on methadrone, which makes working hours difficult. And I'm still very much in the early stages of getting clean, which makes me feel like I'm not ready also yet. I've never been able to hold down a job because I'm so unreliable, I've only ever managed a few days before I get fired for not turning up or stealing from the place...etc (obviously, I would'nt do that now).
I know I need to ease myself back into normal society, but the pressures of a job are a bit much right now, and I was also thinking about going back to school (again) because I have no qualifications at all and it might be fun? Last time I went back to school, it was fucking horrible, but I might try again soon. September perhaps?
I think when I've got clean before, I've done things very quickly, wanted to be normal again so bad that I've rushed it, you know? It takes a long time and I still feel shit all the fucking time, partly because of sickness from HIV shit, partly because methadrone just isn't heroin and partly because getting clean is horrible and makes me very depressed.

But yeah, you're right about the sports thing, I used to be pretty good, but any exercise now just wears me out! The doctors have told me to start exercising again because I need to build up my body strength, gain some weight - being fit and strong is better for fighting off infections which will cause AIDS. I'm giving it a go though, bit by bit.