[Sick Sanity]

i work graveyard shift at a nursing home. it is tough work and is very demanding physically and emotionaly. this past year i have lost 4 ppl and the last one was just a few days ago, tho he was 104 and lived a very long and fruitful life... i was really sad to see him go.. i really enjoy my job for the most part, but sometimes i get so stressed out. between trying to get my diploma and work i have barely any time for family or friends... tho my only friends are online and my fellow graveyard gurls.. my job can be really fun, like we get to watch tv and dink around since most of the time ppl are sleeping.

But there is so much annimosity between me and the damned housekeeper that works there.... she gets paid almost double wut i do and she doesn't do anything. yet she feels the need to tell me how to do my job. ive worked there for 2 years now and i really feel that i can handle it without her lil words of wisdom. she is just an old pain in the butt. i don't know, we just can't get along. and my boss just won't listen to ne one about how lil miss holly is lazy and shouldn't get paid for work she doesn't even do, but they are friends so she just tells us if we don't like it, quit... its really agrivating....

ne how... my job gets on my nerves but i love it. the residents are so kuewl.

there are 3 of us graveyard workers, me and paula and marlene.... paula is 24 and marlene is 47... it is funny but we all get along so well together.. paula is a gothic style gurl that was a bit sheltered and is really shy... marlene is kind of an ol hippie... she is awesome, really outgoing and the type that tells it like it is.... we all wish we could take a few days off together and go somewhere... lol... but our boss wouldn't allow it.

on top of all this work and a lil sleep thrown in... i have to deal with my birth sister. she is 22 and has 4 kids. they got taken from her kuz she is dumb and wasn't being good. well, she wants me to adopt her youngest kid if she can't get her back. and i am the only one she trusts, plus she said she just wasn't able to bond with this one... idk.. i just get so mad at her... she acts like the kid is disposable... she even told csd that if they didn't give her her kids back she would just have more.... am i the only one that thinks that was heartless?... idk... i love my sister, but i wish she would grow up and take responsibility.... i would adopt bailee (she's 6 months old), i just feel kinda trapped tho. i work almost 50 hrs a week and barely have time to sleep, plus i have debt and only live in a one bedroom house... idk if it would work.

my life seems so shaky right now, and i just feel overwhelmed by all this.

well enough of my complaining for now..