[sarah2]

I disagree with you nelvannya, I don't think an apology means jack shit. Every time my father fucks up he apologises, he begs, he pleads with me to forgive him, and I used to, and he used to abuse me more, every time I forgave him he told he it would never happen again, well, what a load of bull shit, I've stopped forgiving him because some people just can't be trusted. If you are one of those people, stop apologising, because it wont make any difference, just stay away from her.
Honestly, and I know this is harsh, if she dosn't want to talk to you, or even see you, you should do as she says, you're lucky she dosn't report you. You can say sorry a million times and she may never forgive you, I know I will certainly never forgive my abusers for what they put me through, however many times they said sorry to me, even if they meant it. You have to deal with the consequences of your actions, if that means her not wanting to see you, well, I'm sorry but she's the victim, you stay well away from her if that's what she wants. That also means guilt, which is a very distructive emotion, and you need to find a way to deal with that which isn't denial.
And I know, I've done awful things before, worse than that, I've broken my closest friends trust, I've be so awful to people they have told me to never speak to them again, to find someone else to sponge off, and I had to accept it, they were right, so I left them, and I've never seen them again even though I cared about them, because it was ME who did wrong, it was MY turn for punishment.
It dosn't mean you have to completly beat yourself up, but you need to accept what you've done (which you already seem to have done, which is a step in the right direction) and accept the consequences of your actions, however sorry you are for them.