[My Dreams killed me]

Ok here's an analogy,

Let's say my depression is like a screwdriver.
Over the last few months the drill-bit has been very slowly kinda drilling it's way into my head, not very deeply, and just enough so that it hurts like hell, but at the end of the day I can ignore it saying "Well it isn't really that deep yet".

Then today I walk into school, and the drill decides to boar in so deep that your head just basicly receives a shockwave so powerful, that it was able to erase a very very happy feeling I just had, and replaced it with an almost suicidal feeling (for cutter's it's that feeling when it feels like you just cut yourself but you havn't really done a thing yet, or if your a smoker and you havn't had a cigg in a few days and you can just taste the tobbaco as you long for it) yeah well it kinda was like that but with suicide.
It's freaking me out, I acually felt like I cut myself in the chest again. I physically feel the scar acheing. I don't like this feelign at all...help?