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Nel, don't worry about being mean! I feel as if I do need things smashed into my head. But I feel like I'm a sick and horrible person, I know I should stop, I know I should change things, I absolutely hate my point in life. For some reason I can't bring myself to do anything.
I think my biggest fear at the moment is boredom. I can't HANDLE being bored, and I'm ALWAYS bored...I always have been. My mom stopped playing games with me at like 5 or 6 because I always won and never wanted to stop. I can't sit still and do nothing for more than 5 minutes. I HATE TV, I'm over video games. I don't know what to do with my time...
I'm stuck in Denver, no way to meet people outside people who drink/use drugs. I've tried making new friends who don't participate. I even mentored highschool aged children through snowboarding to try and give my life some meaning. But it's all stupid. TV is dumb, music is dumb, games are dumb, sports are dumb, clubs are dumb...EVERYTHING there is to do as a human sucks and is not entertaining to me, and it never has been.
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