[forget_me_not]

I'm not going to pretend I know how you feel because I don't. But I do have to say that I was in a vaguely similar situation with a guy; it's a long story but we're still friends. Eventually you get used to it and stop loving them the way you did; trust me. If you can't bear to live without him send him an email, as a friend. All good relationships are based on friendship, and if he brings up the cheating just explain it to him. If he can't understand what happened then he's a pillock and he doesn't deserve you. Just make sure he doesn't use you for his own personal gain; we know how some boys can be.